Poem: I Bought A Cheese And Thought Of You

I composed this poem the day after what I can only describe as the most eventful day in my life. Disillusioned and sick at heart, I wandered into a cheese shop, and purchased the most rare and pungent cheese ever I've known. It was a hot day, and so I ambled down to a small brook and sniffed an enormous amount of nutmeg, which a prostitute named Lefty had recently turned me on to. In my altered state of consciousness, I found the cheese quite arousing, and immediately scribbled this poem on the side of a dead raccoon:

I Bought A Cheese And Thought Of You

I bought a cheese and thought of you.
The meat, t’was white and dappled blue.
It scent the air with musk anew.
I bought a cheese and thought of you.

I bought a cheese and thought of thee.
Thy cream-poured flesh, sweet ecstasy!
Between those thighs, what roiling sea?
I bought a cheese and thought of thee.

I thought of thee and thought it fyne
To pair thee with a deep red wine.
To spread thee on the crusts of time.
I thought of thee, a thought divine!

I held my cheese and thought inside
How wrong my love be so denied.
My cheese grew soft and warm. I sighed.
I held my cheese, thus turn’d the tide.

I took my cheese and thought of you.
Wild appetites engorg’d and grew.
The flesh did part, thus one was two.
I took my cheese. To hell with you!

--A.G.H. 1585